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Subject:quizzes=life!!!!
Time:01:46 am

What kind of God are you?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
You earthly time was spent "Laying" with the sons and/or daughters of men for hours... and days... and weeks...
Your throne is A humble respte overlooking the rolling hills of Elysia
You wear Nothing, because you don't have a body, you insubstantial beast, you
Your Godly superpower is Rivers of white-hot magma flowing from your eyes, slowly and mercilessly agonizing those who stand in your way and your fallen playthings. Forever.
This QuickKwiz by pelagicboreas - Taken 75402 Times.
</a>
New - Dating Advice written by YOU!

comments: 1 grew accustomed to despair! Will you continue to love? Share

Current Music:"sanctuary" utada hikaru (you guessed it KHII)
Current Location:at jonapo's compture cause casey's broke
Security:
Subject:music means life... what's left of me... what's left of me now?
Time:12:36 am
Current Mood:indescribableindescribable
the level of fire in my system took a boost the other day, and i just haven't been able to quell it, not that i'm ever satiated in this life.

i guess i should start where i left off. i dated chris (some would know him as casey, but not to be confused w/ my roomate casey) for a little while. but that didn't work out. i felt uncomfortable for a plethora of reasons. not gonna talk about those seeing as how that wouldn't quite be fair... or prudent. either way. that was over before it started, so i have returned to my norm. *sigh*

my heart's a battle ground...

then all last week was the week of bad juju. my car was impounded, my license revoked, and a bunch of other shit. just stupid shit. i almost quit after hours for the sheer level of stress it was causing me, but i know that stress will subside after prom season, and there's only one more prom to go. i just need to be patient, and as far as waiting out that storm goes, i've had some great teachers.

on friday/saturday (as an ungodly hour) i had a fire lit under my ass. once more, my world, my life, as it weaves its way through this world, was brought into sharp reliefe. it was a strange. i'd been pegged. pegged in the worst and yet best sort of way. that

my fears... my lies... melt away....

since then i've wondered what the next step is, and i don't mean in the small scale sense either. i should want to live my life for myself. and i know that to know i've lived a great deal of it for others. i still believe that it is part of who and what i am. to live my life through helping others. at the same time, where am i going? what am i doing? my wanderlust is still kicking. my inner gypsy still pops up every so often. but where do i belong.

everything about that night stil haunts me. it frightens me. but at the same time it all felt right. i've felt passion and fire. i've felt pain and remorse and love. all of them in one night. all of them in one night... and that feeling hasn't left me yet.

i'm confused about it all, but i still need to know where i'm going next. what i'm doing. what i want to do.

i'm sorry if i seem like i'm rambling. i just don't really know how to describe this feeling. i've felt it many times before. it's passion and fire, but it's just burning in me. it has no direction yet. and every time i feel this way i try and find direction. generally it leads no where. but i know that some day it will end up right.

i think i'm done now... i think.

~fari~

ps.
go to my website....
www.geocities.com/thefairyqueenmab
wasn't in the mood to look-up how to make a hyperlink so copy and paste bitches... and like it!
read my work. someday it'll be published in a book and you'll all have to go out and buy a copy.
the poetry's the best part!
i'm done now, really! ;-D
comments: continue to love? Share

Current Music:"sanctuary" hiki (from KHII)
Current Location:still south
Security:
Subject:you show me how to see... that nothing is whole and nothing is broken...
Time:04:18 am
Current Mood:pleasedpleased
what a great day...

i woke up at around 1pm. putzed around for a while. got to really spend the day with my bro. we played a little KHII together. went to miami subs. chilled. i packed up a bunch of shit. i probably won't take everything i packed up with me... probably. that will be up to my discresion and jake's kindness. my stereo is the biggest annoyance right now. but yeah. my dad made steak for dinner. *drools*

beyond that, i was afraid that i wasn't gonna get to see my friends this weekend. and at around 3pm when i hadn't heard form anyone i was kinda sad. then danny called and we chatted and we went for a quick coffee... oddly enough i caught roshawn, which was nifty. then at around midnight danny came and picked me up and we went to steph's house and chilled. i haven't seen brian in FOREVER. so it was good to spend time with him again too. vicky was being vikcy and god help me i've missed her. we had a great time and chatted till about ten minutes ago (it's now 4:30am). that was fun. i've missed them. funny thing is we spent the majority of our time on my front porch trying to explain my vampire game to danny. it was great!

i miss them so damn much. the naivety in vicky. the nice guy in danny. the snark in steph. the evil in brian. i'm just sad that i missed michelle, but she's in now york right now doing her MUN stull, so i'm sure she's having a hell of a time.

danny's planning to visit over the summer. they'll probably come more than once. steph promised she'd come too. that makes me happy. i hope they come a visit me. danny wants to see our LARP. *giggles*

anyway, i'm done goobing about how much i miss my friends and family. tomorrow is family time. we'll see if i survive. thank god i won't be there for the whole damn day. i looking forward to being saved by jake, but i also don't want to go into it on the defensive. my family will smell it. we're predators. at least most of you will now know where i get it. it's all familial.

oh well... good night,
~fari~
comments: continue to love? Share

Current Music:"sanctuary" utada hikaru (from kingdom hearts II)
Current Location:in the 305 bitches!!!
Security:
Subject:my sanctuary... where fears and lies melt away... music inside... what's left of me...
Time:01:49 am
Current Mood:sleepysleepy
hey all,

just letting you know i'm in miami right now!!! after a breif trip w/ mr. tessler down south i'm finally with my fam again. it's good to see them, good to be around them... and it'll finally be good to get some damn sleep since i've been up since 8am. ;-D

my brother is so fucking big now it's not funny. i used to laugh when my parents said "don't pick on your borther. one day he'll be bigger than you." i'm kinda gald now that he and i made amends years ago cuz he could probably kick my ass right abt now!!! that boy is doing swimming and water polo and has the upper body strength of god and fuck all only knows. but yeah. he turns 16 today and god help my i love my little one.

i'm glad to be around my parents again too. i'd forgotten how crazy my dad is behind the wheel of a car. i drive like an asshole and his driving still scares the shit out of me. lol. but i love him! my mom tried to drag me into all that is dark and depressing... aka the full metal alchemist movie that i never ended up seeing until tonight. and god help me i wish i hadn't. shit. i love FMA and all, but not that level of pain and sorrow after a three hour extended drive to miami.

*sigh* so life is good and i'm glad to be with my family again. for those interested in the boyfriend situation, there's more on that to come in the future. i'm just not entirely sure i wanna vent my spleen in that fashion on livejournal. not yet anyway. i guess i just need to have something to say before i talk about it. it's all be said and done before i guess.

*smooches*
~fari~

ps.
for those kingdom hearts II dorks out there... i finally started playing. altho i probably won't get far in one weekend. *sigh*

Sanctuary
by: Utada Hikaru

In you and I there's a new land,
Angels in flight
My sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah
Where fears and lies melt away
Music inside
What's left of me
What's left of me now

I watch you fast asleep,
All I fear means nothing

In you and I there's a new land,
Angels in flight
My sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah
Where fears and lies melt away
Music inside
What's left of me
What's left of me

My heart's a battleground

You show me how to see,
That nothing is whole and nothing is broken,

In you and I there's a new land
Angels in flight
My sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah
Where fears and lies melt away
Music inside
What's left of me
What's left of me now
My fears, my lies
Melt away...
comments: 3 grew accustomed to despair! Will you continue to love? Share

Security:
Time:02:27 pm
i have a boyfriend...

*giggle*

~fari~
comments: 8 grew accustomed to despair! Will you continue to love? Share

Current Music:"never" mansfield
Security:
Subject:she's smiling one more time... with the promise of hearts to come and...
Time:06:00 am
scratch that last entry...
just fucking ignore it. i just had the best end to a shitty day... EVER.

call it quantum physics.
call it infinite improbability.
call it convergence.
call it whatever the fuck you want...

but today was a good day.

;-D
~fari~
comments: continue to love? Share

Current Music:"medusa" heather dale
Security:
Subject:why should i sell my soul to be one of them... better to love the me within behind the skin...
Time:10:12 pm
Current Mood:sadsad
i feel ungreatful...

i had a great time this weekend, but i feel ungreatful. unfortunately, i woke up on a swing this morning and spent the day trying not to be a kill-joy. and i feel like shit about it b/c i was pretending. and pretending. and pretending. i keep on pretending.

i haven't had a day like this in a long fucking time, but thank god for that. i guess... i guess i should be thankful for that b/c that means i haven't had a swing this incapacitating or had to have acted like a lying sack of shit in a while, but i don't see any good in today. like, today is one of those days that you know is just a great day, but i couldn't fucking feel it.

though i'm proud of myself for one thing. i behaved. i kept my shit under control. i wasn't a kill-joy today and i'm proud of myself for it.

i expect i'll be getting a nasty "herna, herna, herna" soon for not mentioning that i was having a bad day sooner. oh well. at least i got a good cry in. that ALWAYS makes me feel better...

-ish.

~fari~

ps.
i've now just re-read the entry and realized just how fucking much i was rambling. yeah, it's been one of those days.
comments: 2 grew accustomed to despair! Will you continue to love? Share

Security:
Subject:what does this button do? aka: quizzes...
Time:12:23 am

Fari Pills:



Will cause increased flexibility


'What effect do you have on people?' at QuizGalaxy.com
comments: continue to love? Share

Current Music:"snitches and talkers get stiches and walkers" fall out boy
Security:
Subject:keep talking, keep this alive... this story's getting old... the homewrecker with a heart of gold...
Time:02:26 am
Current Mood:pissed offpissed off
god damnit...

why are all the good ones taken? i met another guy that i would love to shag stupid today. big shock here kids: he's taken. fucking wonderful! sometimes i hate my life. at this point, not really. i'm just being pleasently pissed about it. but god damn. i mean, i remember seeing him the other day and thinking "hm. i wonder. i think i might like that one." and sure enough, great conversation tonight, and i'm wishing he were single. i think i made him blush by saying so, tho. *giggles* i've still got it kids. heh, not that i ever lost it. but every new smirk is good business to me. *sigh* i just wish my luck weren't so damn terrable. oh well. had a good night tho. i think i need to go masturbate to thought of someone else's boyfriend. g'night.

~fari~
comments: continue to love? Share

Current Music:"haunted hell" poe
Security:
Subject:i'm haunted... by the hallways in this dinning room... the echo there of me and you... the voices...
Time:01:50 am
Current Mood:amusedamused
i found this... i'm not sure how long ago i wrote it, maybe a year now. the shawn refference is a hint. but here it is. i know i wanted to put it in LJ one day, so here it is...

*

In The Long Term
(a look into one of the few true fears left in the mind of a young girl)

Let me tell you a little story: "Once upon a time there was a girl named Fari..." No! definitely not the way to start this story... instead, i'll tell it like it is. my life runs at a deadly pace. It always has, and knowing the way i am, it always will... i cannot stay in one place too long, i cannot stagnate in my life... if i'm not moving then i'm not changing, if i'm not changing then i'm not growing, and if i'm not growing then what the fuck am i doing with my life? Answer? NOTHING! and that doesn't work for me... so every since i was young i've always moved quickly, evolved far faster than the rest. I can remember going to my mother after school (high school) one day totally and completely frustrated with all of my friends b/c they were going thru this period of soul searching trying to "find themselves" - for lack of a less cliché way to put it - and i can remember her laughing at me... i mean, i was really fucking frustrated with these people b/c to me, my soul searching was done, i knew who i was, why were all these people taking so long to figure it out? and then my mother graced me once again with her greater knowledge of the world and proved once more to me that no matter how much "wisdom" i may have in my youth... it's old wisdom, things that i learned once before and brought back with me into this new life b/c no matter how "wise" i can sometimes be, i'm still terribly naive... so she explained to me that most people don't come as far as i do in as short a period of time as i seem to... so all my life i've struggled with this THING in my life, that i always just, keep going, and don't look back... i don't hold people's hands, i don't make sure that you're following me, i just move, and then for w/e reason, when i've hit that next part of my life and they're not there, i'm sad...

ENTER FEAR, STAGE LEFT: i'm afraid that i'll never keep anyone in the long term... i was born in the year of the rat... most of the time it'll say that rats don't make long-term friends, and whether self fulfilling prophecy or sheer truth i'll never be sure... but the fact of the matter is i keep moving... and no one seems to fucking keep up... the only people that have ALWAYS been around are my family... and that's their job!!! but yeah... i have this underlying fear that i will never meet anyone who will make this journey through life with me... i seem to be a momentary part of most people's life... and i don't know how, and i dont' know why, but i make lasting impressions on people, yet we still move on... whether i'm the first to leave, or they are... that was why when i went off to college and then came back and suddenly no one was there for me anymore and no one seemed to care i was so put out, but so understanding of it either way... that was why i was afraid of the day that shawn was going home, that is why i'm so reluctant even now to believe that he will always be with me, and i'm sorry for it... but that's just the way i am... i have my life to live... and i try to help other people, but when i move, i don't stop to make sure people move with me, and no one ever has... ever... i've lost so many people in my life... i've let go of so many people in my life... i've watched so many people fall behind... i’ve seen the hope in my eyes fade when i expected someone i loved to still be there and they weren't... and i've felt this undying loneliness in the pit of my stomach grow with every day... disappear and then spring itself back on my when i didn't expect it... and i've never been able to see or understand why i felt it, but now i know... it's the pain of so many lost, and the fear of losing more... so at the end of the day what do i fear...?

i'm afraid that no one will stay this life by my side...

this public service announcement brought to you in sharp relief by my own undying need to put the unhappy and absolutely honest truth right in your fucking face... and sometimes in my own... have a nice life... chances are you won't be around me for much more of it.

~fari~
comments: 8 grew accustomed to despair! Will you continue to love? Share

Current Music:"nobody puts baby in the corner" fallout boy
Security:
Subject:i'll be your best kept secret and you biggest mistake...
Time:12:37 am
Current Mood:productiveproductive
feeling better than i was yesterday.

woke up oh-so-late today and missed my first hour of work, but made that up (and then some) by staying until midnight today doing tickets. to quote my amanda (my manager) "i'm so over prom season." i'll probably stop in tomorrow morning before the store opens and do some more tickets. that depends on whether or not i pull an all-nigther tonight. i don't particularly care that much for the job, it's just that amanda rocks, i work with casey, and it's good money. i'm also the employee in the store most likely to make over-time b/c i do the job that's most difficult to do during actual store hours: data entry. but i'm rambling.

so yeah, anyone want to go to i-bar on thursday night? i haven't been out in god knows how long. my idea of a night out is going to game. hell, i went to a movie on last friday night and it was refreshing. yay "v for vendetta"!!! so yeah, an i-bar trip (even if it is on indie night) is a welcome idea. sooooo, any takers? i'll drive and pick up if someone is willing to help with a little gas and possibly parking! ;-D

so yeah. done rambling now. i'm just trying to get into the habbit of updating b/c things are good in my life. *sigh*

time to work on my other job now.

~fari~
comments: 5 grew accustomed to despair! Will you continue to love? Share

Security:
Subject:i keep stealing these online quizes...
Time:12:50 am




What type of Fae are you?

this one was scary. i hate it when these things are right.
~fari~
comments: 1 grew accustomed to despair! Will you continue to love? Share

Current Music:"dance, dance" fallout boy
Security:
Subject:i only want simpathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me...
Time:11:24 pm
Current Mood:confusedconfused
bla,

today has been one of those days. a day where the chemicals in my brain told me to go fuck myself, and took my body along for the ride. so yeah, it was a fairly shitty day. had to leave work early b/c after about an hour i was too dizzy and too crappy to deal with anything. if we had a rush i think i would have just passed out from the noise and the confusion. so i went and ate something, fancy that, not eating for more than twelve hours is bad for you! hot damn. anyway, after that i felt better for about an hour. just enough time to go home, change and go get things i need with the money my family sent. tampons, deoderant, body wash, face soap, that sort of thing. bla.

i also bought clothes for work. that made me feel better, a little. and then of course i spent some time with my crutch. no not crush, crutch! having jake around is a good thing, kinda like when i had danny lopez around. someone who i could cry with. someone who didn't need some sort of pretense from me, someone i could just be me around and not worry if anything was gonna piss them off. it's a rare quality in people and either i bring it out in them or i'm just REALLY fucking lucky. i'm probably just lucky.

also on the happy/sad note, i got a gift card for best buy and after racking my brain to see if i could find anything useful i needed from there i decided, what the hell? CDs it is! so i bought a few CDs, the new Fallout Boy, My Chemical Romance (the second one, i think it's the newest), Placebo's 'greatest hits' and Placebo's "Sleeping With Ghosts".

Placebo is great, but they have a tendancy to make me sad. so the fact that i listened to them for half the day today (namely while i was shopping) didn't register as a bad thing until i switched back to fallout boy and i was happier again, if only just a little. so yeah, now i'm on a fallout boy kick. the lyrics amuse the fuck out of me b/c they're funny, sad, and snarky all at the same time. my two fav. songs right now are "dance, dance" and "nobody puts baby in the corner". but the lyrics are just so damn good. they may be whiney and emo, but they're still good. i mean, check out these great quotes:

"why don't you show me the little bit of spine you've been saving for his mattress/i only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me"
-dance, dance

"i'm just a notch in your bedpost but you're just a line in a song"
-sugar we're going down

"we're always sleeping in and sleeping for the wrong team"
-sugar we're going down

"oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet/wishing to be the friction in your jeans"
-sugar we're going down

"keep quiet/nothing comes as easy as you/can i lay in your bed all day/i'll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake"
-nobody puts baby in the corner

"so wear me like the locket around your throat/i'll weigh you down/i'll watch you choke/you look so good in blue"
-nobody puts baby in the corner

"joke me something aweful just like kisses on the necks of "best friends""
-i've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth (yes that's a song title)

"and the poets are just kids who didn't make it and never had it at all"
-i've got a dark alley...

"i'm hopelessly hopeful, that you're just hopeless enough"
-i've got a dark alley...

"i'm sleeping my way out of this one/with anyone who'll lie down"
-7 minutes in heaven

"take your tears and put them on ice/cause i swear i'd burn this city down to show you the light"
-sophomore slump or best comeback of the year

"i'm the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends/and I am sorry my conscience called in sick again/and I've got arrogance down to a science/oh, and I'm the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends"
-i slept with someone in fallout boy and all i got was this stupid song written about me

"i don't blame you for being you/but you can't blame me for hating it"
-a little less sixteen candles, a little more "touch me" (btw did i mention i love thier song titles?)

"you said you'd keep me honest/but i won't call you on it"
-a little less... a little more...

-the entire song XO

but yeah, i'm gonna shut up now. good night.
~fari~
comments: 1 grew accustomed to despair! Will you continue to love? Share

Security:
Subject:IQ
Time:03:19 am
yay! i have an IQ!!!
tickle told me i have an IQ... woot!
i guess it's better than not having one... i guess.
ya know, i think IQ varies. b/c honestly, i'm tired as shit and i know i made some stupid mistakes on that IQ test. that and i was bored. oh well.
131 ain't bad.
altho i didn't need tickle to tell me i'm a cunning linguist. ;-D
~fari~
comments: 1 grew accustomed to despair! Will you continue to love? Share

Security:
Subject:i love sensless quizzes....
Time:12:41 am
Greed:Medium
 
Gluttony:Medium
 
Wrath:Low
 
Sloth:High
 
Envy:Very Low
 
Lust:Very High
 
Pride:Medium
 


Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

so basically i'm ...
firstly, a succubus and in general horny bitch! (lust)
second, a lazy bitch! (sloth)
third, a greed bitch! (greed)
fourth, a fat ass bitch! (gluttony)
fifth, a proud bitch! (pride)
but not really...
ever angry (wrath)
or the jealous type (envy).

that's for the most part really true. *giggles*
now that's funny. i think if they switched greed and wrath it would be PERFECT! ;-D

*

LiveJournal Username
Age
Favorite ice cream
Favorite season
Thinks you're ass is tight:papercollage
Wants to lick hot chocolate off you're body:northernminx
Wonders how good you are in bed:randomdropsy
Wishes you would screw him/her on the spot:zh_darkstar
Is romatically in love with you:ourobourous
Wishes you were gay so he/she could love you better:northernminx
Hopes you'll take him/her to great heights (wink wink nudge nudge):blookie_doo
Day dreams about having sex with you 24/7:babylon930
This Fun Quiz created by Molly at BlogQuiz.Net
Science News at NewsDump</a>



~fari~
comments: 1 grew accustomed to despair! Will you continue to love? Share

Current Music:"if i apologised" neil gaiman
Security:
Subject:if i apologised... it woulnd't make it all unhappen... wouldn't make the darkness go away...
Time:01:22 am
Current Mood:coldcold
random list i stole:

*

[ ] I'm afraid of silence.

[ ] I Talk a lot when I get really nervous.

[ ] I am really ticklish.

[ ] I'm afraid of the dark.

[ ] I'm afraid of facing my back to open doors at night.

[x] I can't sleep in a room if the door is open.

[ ] I am homosexual.

[x] I believe in true love.

[x] I've run away from home.

[ ] I listen to political music.

[x] I collect comic books.

[x] I shut others out when I'm sad or mad.

[X] I've stayed out all night.

[x]I open up to others easily.

[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.

[ ] I watch the news.

[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.

[X] I love Disney movies.

[x] I am a sucker for green eyes.

[x] I am a sucker for brown eyes.

(x] I am a sucker for blue eyes.

[ ] I don't kill bugs.

[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.

[X] I've slipped and fell in public.

[X] I've slipped LOL in a real conversation.

[ ] I love Spam.

[ ] I bake well.

[x] I have worn pajamas to class.

[x] I have owned something from Abercrombie.

[ ] I want a better job.

[X] Talked on a phone for 6+ hours.

[x] I love Dr. Phil.

[x] I like someone.

[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS. LOL

[ ] I am self conscious.

[X] I love to laugh.

[ ] I loved Lord of the Flies.

[ ] I eat cough drops when I'm not sick.

[ ] I can't swallow pills.

[X] I have a lot of scars.


[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.

[X] I love chocolate.

[x] I bite my nails.

[ ] I am not comfortable with being me.

[ ] I play computer games when I'm bored.

[X] I've gotten lost in the city. i've gotten lost everywhere

[X] I've thought of suicide before.

[X] I've seen a shooting star.

[X] I've had a menage a trois.

[X] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.

[X] I've kissed a stranger.

[X] I've kissed someone really strange.

[X] I've hugged a stranger.

[ ] I've been in a bloody fist fight with someone of a diff. sex.

[x] I've been in a fist fight period

[ ] I've been arrested.

[ ] I've laughed and had some type of beverage come out of my nose.

[X] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.

[ ] I've made out in an elevator.

[ ] I've swore at Liberace.

[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts on purpose

[ ] I've been skydiving.

[ ] I've been bungee jumping.

[x] I've gotten stitches.

[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.

[X] I've bitten someone

[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.

[X] I've gotten the chicken pox.

[X] I've crashed into a car.

[ ] I've been to Japan.

[X] I've ridden in a taxi.

[ ] I've shoplifted.

[ ] I've been fired.

[X] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.

[x] I've stolen something from my job.

[ ] I've been on a blind date.

[x] I've dad a crush on a teacher/coach.

[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

[ ] I've been to Europe.

[ ] I've slept with a co-worker and/or employee.

[ ] I've been married.

[ ] I've gotten divorced.

[ ] I've seen someone or something die.

[ ] I have a list of people I want to kill.

[X] I've driven over 400 miles in one day.

[ ] I've been to Canada

[x] I've been on a plane

[X] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

[ ] I've thrown up in a bar.

[X] I've eaten sushi.

[ ] I've been skiing.

[X] I've been ice skating

[ ] I've been Snowboarding

[X] I've cried in public.

[ ] I've walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed.

[X] I've liked someone even though I knew you shouldn't have.

[X] I've thought of someone almost 24/7.

[X] I've hated the world.

[ ] I've drank in front of my parents w/o them knowing it.

*

amusing list of doom stolen from </a></b></a>shadowphantom.

~fari~
comments: 1 grew accustomed to despair! Will you continue to love? Share

Security:
Time:12:37 am
god i can't wait to have a paid account and a million icons again....

*sigh*
~fari~
comments: 1 grew accustomed to despair! Will you continue to love? Share

Current Music:the ppl in my apartment talking about gaming
Security:
Time:09:30 pm
Current Mood:tiredtired
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now taking applications!

*smooches*
~fari~
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Current Music:"if i apologise" neil gaiman (from mirrormask)
Security:
Subject:we're on first... unrehearsed... and we still don't know what we've done... so we don't say anything
Time:08:35 pm
Current Mood:tiredtired
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*giggles*
~fari~
comments: 6 grew accustomed to despair! Will you continue to love? Share

Current Music:"if i apologized" neil gaiman (from mirrormask)
Security:
Subject:If I Apologised
Time:03:57 am
Current Mood:accomplishedaccomplished
If I apologised
it wouldn't make it all unhappen
wouldn't make the darkness go away
If I apologised
it wouldn't mean I was forgiven
wouldn't mean you wanted me to stay

But
it's a dream
when you seem
to be walking into the sun
we're on first
unrehearsed
and we still don't know what we've done
so we don't say anything.

If I apologised
I don't suppose you'd even notice
even though I'd whisper it inside
If I apologised
we could be the perfect couple
Well we could, but only in my mind

but
if you ask
for the mask
then we're stumbling on through the dark
But we wait
it's too late
And we only had to be asked
so we don't say anything.

It couldn't hurt to try it
It couldn't hurt too much to try
It's there beyond the quiet
it couldn't hurt too much to fly...

*

god what a beautiful song...
~fari~
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Current Music:"lateralus" tool
Security:
Subject:i embrace my deesire to feel the rhythm to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow
Time:05:59 pm
Current Mood:sicksick
i just finished watching "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind"

if you haven't seen that movie... DO IT! it's beautiful. it's perfect. it reminds us that love is not something we should forget or forsake because of the fact that sometimes it hurts. tough fucking shit. love hurts! to hurt is to know we loved. the more we hurt, the more we have loved. it's a part of life. and the end of the movie is perfect... but i won't ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it.

either way. don't give up on love. don't forsake it. don't ignore it. don't forget about it. do not turn the other way just b/c it won't be perfect or it won't last forever. it's part of the experience. if we were meant to find that one person that was perfect for us first and never love another then we would find them first wouldn't we? we're supposed to go through a million failed relationships and a million trials and hardships and failings. it's supposed to be hard, that's what makes it worth it. love is not black and white. it's not simple, it's not clear cut. sometimes it's not as easy to decide whether something is worth doing or not...

i'm rambling. but yeah. go see that movie. go out and love without being afraid of the hurt. go and and enjoy life... becuase life isn't complete without love.

~fari~
comments: 3 grew accustomed to despair! Will you continue to love? Share

Current Music:"book of my life" sting
Security:
Subject:there's a chapter of secrets... and words to confess...
Time:10:05 pm
Current Mood:amusedamused
OMG...

my roomate showed me the coolest website today... it's kind of like post secret, except fictional... and funnier!!! i think from now on as i update, and i can't think of anything to write, i'll just post these. it was a difficult choice as to which of these i would post first, these two just stood out...

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Image hosting by Photobucket

if you want to see more of them, click either of the pictures and you can visit the website...

~fari~
comments: 1 grew accustomed to despair! Will you continue to love? Share

Current Music:"the show must go on" queen
Security:
Subject:inside my heart is breaking... my make-up may be flaking... but my smile stays on...
Time:03:00 pm
Current Mood:anxiousanxious
The Show Must Go On
Queen

Empty spaces - what are we living for
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score
On and on, does anybody know what we are looking for...
Another hero, another mindless crime
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime
Hold the line, does anybody want to take it anymore
The show must go on,
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on.
Whatever happens, I’ll leave it all to chance
Another heartache, another failed romance
On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?
I guess I’m learning, I must be warmer now
I’ll soon be turning, round the corner now
Outside the dawn is breaking
But inside in the dark I’m aching to be free
The show must go on
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on
My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies
Fairytales of yesterday will grow but never die
I can fly - my friends
The show must go on
The show must go on
I’ll face it with a grin
I’m never giving in
On - with the show -
I’ll top the bill, I’ll overkill
I have to find the will to carry on
On with the -
On with the show -
The show must go on...

~fari~
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Current Music:"hunter" heather dale
Security:
Subject:i laugh at the concept of life... as the simple result of the sum... i just wanna hold you...
Time:02:45 am
Current Mood:tiredtired
Hunter
Heather Dale

I promise you nothing
I take only that which is free
I offer a life full of risk
And the whirlwind of joy that can be
Don't try to bind me
Just love me without any greed
And I'll give you the world
And my heart and the air that I breathe

Slip the jesses my love
This hunter you own from the hood to the glove
When the circling and striking are done and I land
Let me come back to your hand

I have no illusions
To think that I know what will come
I laugh at the concept of life
As the simple result of the sum
I just wanna hold you
And share with you all of this life
With the stars in the darkness
And love in the light and it's dizzying heights

Slip the jesses my love
This hunter you own from the hood to the glove
When the circling and striking are done and I land
Let me come back to your hand

Let me come back to you hand...

*

chew on that for a little while kids. good night.
~fari~
comments: 1 grew accustomed to despair! Will you continue to love? Share

Current Music:punk static paranoia orgy
Security:
Subject:orgy... just what the doctor ordered...
Time:02:09 am
Current Mood:hornyhorny
Make Up Your Mind
by: Orgy

Make up your mind

You couldn't make me
Anymore crazy
Than I could stand to be

So won't you just sympathize with me
And all the things I do to make you angry with me
What's wrong with me today
You say, I leave you all alone
Every time you call me
As if you needed reason to fall down
I know this must be hard for you to understand
And all this waiting takes too long for me
Make up your mind

You don't even know, what's good for you
You better keep your eyes on me
Maybe you're oblivious inside
And it's scary that you don't know
Your chances fade away
Fade away sometimes
Maybe you're oblivious inside

No you can't deny me
And I don't want to see you go away

You get angry when I ask what's on your mind
I should have been asking you what's been up your sleeve this whole time
'Cause now I know you're dangerous
And I know you're dangerous, but somehow you're contagious
Make up your mind

You don't even know, what's good for you
You better keep your eyes on me
Maybe you're oblivious inside
But it's scary that you don't know
Your chances fade away
Fade away sometimes
Maybe you're oblivious inside

You don't even know, what's good for you
You better keep your eyes on me
Maybe you're oblivious inside
But it's scary that you don't know
Your chances fade away
Fade away sometimes
Maybe you're oblivious inside

No you can't deny me
No you can't deny me
'Cause I don't want to see you go away

You don't even know, what's good for you
You better keep your eyes on me
Maybe you're oblivious inside
But it's scary that you don't know
But it's scary that you don't know
Your chances fade away
Fade away sometimes
Maybe you're oblivious inside

bla
~fari~
comments: 7 grew accustomed to despair! Will you continue to love? Share

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